5.29.2014

Thursday Three | 05.29.14

  • I have to teach Relief Society this Sunday, and while I have my topic, I always struggle to put my thoughts together. Hopefully it'll come to me.  
  • Learned that our insurance is going up, like a lot. Now while I am totally grateful for insurance, I just can't believe how much our deductible will be. At least no premiums this time... Remember the good ol' days when I didn't need insurance?
  • I am still craving a road trip and Dr. Pepper. The other day I had the strangest feeling of desperately wanting to go to the beach and soak my feet. Maybe I'll just take off...
Thursday Three was developed by Kristin from RUKristin. You can read more about it {here}, then play along over on Instagram and follow me @bre11414.

5.22.2014

Thursday Three | 05.22.14

  • Since Greg won't let me have a kitten/puppy/baby, I've got this cat game on my phone where I will tell Greg I'm taking care of my cats when I play it. Well last night I had this awesome dream where I had this massively huge cat and a baby kitten and I took them to church. I woke up in the middle of the night and nearly told Greg about it then, but I waited until this morning. He told me I was grounded from my cat game.
  • I've become quite obsessed with Psych. I think it is hilarious and a lot cleaner than most shows on tv right now. It's also made me realize how much I need to do a better job at paying attention to the little things around me. We were taking about bank robberies this morning at work and i kept thinking about that show and how i need to be paying attention to all the details of the situation.
  • The spots on my leg where the shingles were are still numb. Is that normal? It kind of freaks me out. There is another spot on my other leg that goes numb if it gets too hot or too cold. I don't understand my body.
Thursday Three was developed by Kristin from RUKristin. You can read more about it {here}, then play along over on Instagram and follow me @bre11414.

5.17.2014

28 by 29 | Introduction


Sometimes I come up with these really great ideas, and then I get super excited about them, and then I get a few weeks into it, and 'give up'. Well, this time I really have it.

I want this next year to be the best year ever. And the year after that, and the year after that. I want to do something awesome with my life, so one needs goals. I've been doing this every year for the past few years, but this year I want to share my experiences, and get feedback and advice, and encouragement from you. Otherwise, this will just turn into another one of those epic fails.

I'm still in the process of completing my list, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know. Instead of doing vague goals like, "Lose weight" or "Organize my house," I went a bit more specific. I think you have to be, or else it's harder to feel like you've accomplished something.

Here is my list so far. I'll be explaining each one of the goals as time goes on, but I really good use a few more suggestions. I'm stuck. So, here we go...

28 things to do before I turn 29
1 // Read the Book of Mormon twice
2 //  Write a note to 28 people
3 // Try 28 new recipes
4 // Do my Visiting Teaching every month
5 // Begin a 50 states album
6 // Learn 10 fun facts about each state (to include in 50 states album)
7 // Create an exercise program for myself and do it at least 2 times a week
8 // Document a 'Day in the Life' each month
9 // Learn more about my ancestors
10 // Try 12 things I've pinned on Pinterest
11 // Read a General Conference talk each week (52)
12 // Perform 12 Random Acts of Kindness (RAK)
13 // Plan a girl's day out
14 // Read 28 new books
15 // Create and send 6 care packages
16 // Have 12 planned date nights with the hubby
17 // Run or walk a 5K
18 // Go 28 days without Facebook
19 // Take at least 3 pictures each day
20 // Memorize 28 scriptures
21 // Do something to raise awareness for Scleroderma
22 // Do something awesome with my hair
23 // Buy 2 new outfits
24 // Eat at 5 new places
25 // Go on a real vacation with Greg
26 // 
27 // 
28 // 
Now I'm stuck. Help me out with those last three. I'm up for just about anything.
Like I said, I'll talk more about each one over time, and explain a little more about my intentions with this. I just need to get it out there, so I can be thinking about how to fulfill these. I made them easy enough to accomplish, but not so easy that I can do them all in one day. This is a daily challenge to help me become a better person mentally, spiritually, physically, and any other way I can be a better person.
I'm excited. Are you?

May-ish Thoughts

So, it's the middle of May already. How did that happen? I think I say this every month, but this month has just flown by! I don't even have any real great stories to tell.

Work has been super crazy and busy. I've been helping out with web apps (loans people apply for online), and it keeps me quite busy. I've got about 64 loans on my list right now (some are done, some were denials, but still!) But I have to say, I love it. It keeps me busy, and I'm learning new things. Some weeks/days are definitely harder than others, like when people want their loans done RIGHT NOW, even though you've told them that you need information before you can continue, or nothing about the loan goes right. But then there are good days, like yesterday, where I got the app on Thursday, the guy got me all the information I needed and I was able to close it by noon yesterday. It was awesome! I really do enjoy it, and like being busy. Especially since that is something I can still do with no problems. I don't know how to explain it. It's like I've had to make a few adjustments at work due to my health, and I feel like I'm not doing as much as I should/used to, so to have all these loans, and be able to work on them, and actually do them since there really are no physical limitations for me, it just helps me feel better. I know that probably makes no sense, but oh well. My job is great, my co-workers are the best.

For our May Relief Society Activity, we went to the USU Greenhouse where the sisters were able to pick out plants and soil at a discounted price. They've been doing it for years, even though the guy who runs the greenhouse is no longer in our ward. His daughter is, so it's a fun activity for the sisters. we had a great turnout, and I got to pretend to be a mommy for a few minutes, while pushing my friend's sweet little baby around in her stroller so mommy  could pick out some plants. Psh, I could so do that full-time! ;)


And speaking of mommy. Happy Mother's Day to my sweet mom, and my sweet Grandma. Love you guys!



And speaking of Mother's Day. Are you ready for my thoughts on that day? I'm going to warn you that some of you may get offended. I'm #sorrynotsorry. You getting offended is your choice, which, ironically is part of my thoughts on this day.

So, Mother's Day. I was conducting, as I was the only member of the Relief Society presidency who would be there, so all morning I was thinking of a way to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day without offending those who weren't mothers. It really got me thinking. I have read so many stories about women who just get so incredibly offended on Mother's Day because they don't have children yet, or they have had trouble getting pregnant, or carrying children, or for whatever reason. As I thought about it though, people will choose to be offended whether I said something or not.

So I got up and wished everyone a Happy Mother's Day. As I further sat through church, I watched the two babies that were in Relief Society with their moms. I just sat and stared at them and thought how wonderful it would be to be a mom. Was I jealous? Absolutely! Was I angry? Not one bit.

The sacrament talks were given by a darling Samoan family. As I listened to the mom and dad speak, I couldn't help but think, "How could anyone possibly hate Mother's Day?"

A: We all have mothers!
B: We have all been influenced by mothers.
C: Hating Mother's Day because you aren't a mother, is like hating someone on their birthday because it's not your birthday. (Okay, bad analogy, but I couldn't think of a real good one!)

I think getting offended or hating Mother's Day is a totally selfish act. Am I saying that you can't be a little sad on that day? Not at all. But to come right out and say I hate Mother's Day, or I'm not celebrating Mother's Day is completely selfish.

Now, what do I really know about this topic?

Am I mother? No.
Have I experienced the heartache of trying and not being able to conceive children? No.
Have I experienced miscarriages, or the loss of a child? No.

So what do I know, right?

Well, let me tell you about my situation. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka, LDS, or Mormon), and I live in Utah. I have been married for nearly NINE years, and I have ZERO children. If you know the typical Mormon stereotypes, you'd think I would have been kicked out of Utah seven years ago. For our own reasons we put off having children for a while. There have been so many times during the past nine years that I've been sad, angry, and frustrated that it's never been my turn, and that EVERY OTHER WOMAN I SEE IS PREGNANT. (I do live in Utah.)

So, you could say that it's my own choice that I haven't had children. Yes it was, but at this point in my life, it's not entirely my choice anymore. I have been 'sick' for the past 2 years. There is no possible way that my body could physically bear a child. You think it doesn't kill me to think that this is something that could have been avoided had we had children earlier? And then I think that even if I had children, would I be able to properly care for them? I mean, I can't bend over and pick things off the ground, I can't dress my self, I can barely lift my purse, so what makes me think I'd be able to pick up my crying child? So, therefore, I am not a mother. I have not experienced not being able to conceive, or miscarriage, but I still CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN. I'm not trying to be insensitive to those of you in those situations, I'm just pointing out that even though my situation is different than yours, the longing for a child is the same.

Okay, so now for the point of this. Again, I sat there thinking, "How could anyone get offended or upset on Mother's Day?" Yes, it can be a very difficult time and day, but if you choose to get offended about something like that, then you need to step back and take another look at your life. You are a woman. You are a mother. Maybe not now, but someday. Maybe not to your own children, but to nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors, etc. The sister who spoke gave a great example of her older sister who hasn't had the opportunity to have children of her own, but who still has cared for her siblings, and her siblings children like they were her own. I just think if I never have kids of my own, I'm still gonna be way cooler than my niece's and nephew's moms. I'll be the one that spoils them rotten, takes them to the park, on picnics, gives them their first fake ID....kidding. But let's face it. Kids think their aunts are way cooler than their own moms. So I've got that advantage.

I am not perfect. My close friends know that I often complain or get sad that I have no children. My husband knows how frustrated I am. But at the end of the day, I just take a step back and think, "The Lord has a plan for me. He has a plan for my children. Everything will work out." Somedays are harder than others, but surprisingly Mother's Day wasn't one of them. Whatever your situation, just remember, the Lord has a plan f or you. He knows your pains, struggles, and innermost thoughts and feelings. You aren't being punished, it's just not the right time. No it's not easy, but if you continue to be offended about things, then you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life. If you can't find joy now, what makes you think that you'll have joy when the children do come? My understsanding is that everything gets 100 times harder.


But what do I know? I'm just a childless 27 year old Mormon who has been married forEVER, with an awesome life!

5.15.2014

Thursday Three | 05.15.14

  • Since Greg won't let me have a kitten/puppy/baby, I've got this cat game on my phone where I will tell Greg I'm taking care of my cats when I play it. Well last night I had this awesome dream where I had this massively huge cat and a baby kitten and I took them to church. I woke up in the middle of the night and nearly told Greg about it then, but I waited until this morning. He told me I was grounded from my cat game.
  • I've become quite obsessed with Psych. I think it is hilarious and a lot cleaner than most shows on tv right now. It's also made me realize how much I need to do a better job at paying attention to the little things around me. We were taking about bank robberies this morning at work and i kept thinking about that show and how i need to be paying attention to all the details of the situation.
  • The spots on my leg where the shingles were are still numb. Is that normal? It kind of freaks me out. There is another spot on my other leg that goes numb if it gets too hot or too cold. I don't understand my body.
Thursday Three was developed by Kristin from RUKristin. You can read more about it {here}, then play along over on Instagram and follow me @bre11414.

5.08.2014

Thursday Three | 05.08.14

  • This week my face had been all red and splotchy. Not sure if it is from the scleroderma or just getting too warm, or acne or who knows what. It bugs... which is also why this photo is in black and white.
  • Tonight was the NFL draft. I feel it is the most overly talked about athletic event and I get really annoyed with the before, during, and after talks about who is gonna go, who is still available, and what should have happened. However I actually get excited for the first round and for the actual picks. How awesome would it be to get drafted? Other than that though, way over talked about.
  • With the warmth brings the itchy skin. Not sure if I prefer the numb fingers and toes or the itchy skin...
Thursday Three was developed by Kristin from RUKristin. You can read more about it {here}, then play along over on Instagram and follow me @bre11414.

5.04.2014

Stepping Out!

So, if you're a friend of mine on facebook, I apologize for the Scleroderma overload, but I'm not done yet. Here is my blog plug for the upcoming Northern Utah 2014 - Stepping Out to Cure Scleroderma 5K Walk/Run.

Since being diagnosed with Scleroderma, I've decided that I want to do something at least once a year to raise money and awareness for it. I had no idea what I was going to do, and thoughts ran through my mind like hosting a 5K, or a volleyball tournament, but I had no idea how that would work. Luckily, in searching the internet, I found that there was already a fundraiser set up in Northern Utah. Perfect! Now I didn't have to stress about setting something up myself (though I do think it would be fun to put together a volleyball tournament or something!)

I had posted on facebook if any one wanted to do it with me, and got a few responses, but then when I was talking to my mom at Kennan's track me, she said she had spoken to my Aunt Laurel, and Laurel said that we should do it...with t-shirts and everything.

So here's what we've got planned: 

We are inviting anyone who is interested to join us in support of myself and others who are suffering with this disease. You can do this in any of the following ways.

Join us as we walk/run for the Northern Utah 2014 - Stepping Out to Cure Scleroderma 5K. Entry fee is $20 ($25 if you register the day of). You can choose to either run the 5K or do a 1 mile walk (which is what I'll be doing). Register by going {HERE}, clicking on "I want to attend the event and register," then click on "join a team" to join my team. Search for my team which is:

Sclero-what?

Question mark and all. You should see my team show up with me as the captain. If you don't, let me know and I'll try to walk you through it again.

We will also be having team shirts, which are $10 (separate from the registration fee). You don't have to purchase one if you are running/walking, these are just for fun and so "Team Bre" can stand out!

If you are unable to attend the walk/run, but would still like to donate directly to the Scleroderma Foundation on my behalf, you can go to my team page: http://scfo.convio.net/goto/sclero-what and click the "Support Scleroderma" button.

Or, you can just purchase a "Team Bre" t-shirt for $10, and all the proceeds will go to the Scleroderma Foundation.

If you want a specific size (adult or kids sizes), we need to know as soon as possible so we can get them ordered. You can either leave me a comment here, email me at bre11414@hotmail.com, or join my facebook event {HERE} and let me know there.

(What the shirts might look like, only with proper spelling of Sclero!)

I really REALLY appreciate the love and support I've received so far. Special thanks to my mom for helping me organize this, and my aunt who kind of spurred this. Love you all!

5.01.2014

Thursday Three | 05.01.14

  • This weather has me craving weird things, like Funyuns and chocolate milk (an old HS fave)
  • I just want to get in the car with Greg, stock up on treats and a bottle of Dr. Pepper and just drive.... and drive... and drive.
  • I may have weird, creepy doll dreams thanks to an episode of Pretty Little Liars I watched tonight. I think that's the most scared I've been.
Thursday Three was developed by Kristin from RUKristin. You can read more about it {here}, then play along over on Instagram and follow me @bre11414.
© GREG & BRE AULLMAN
Maira Gall